Welcome to The Carnivourus Herbivore!

Books, Stories, Life and More!

Friday, May 17, 2013

The Quest for Tuna

Far into the future, like really really far, there was a girl with Magical powers.
Now this was a good thing, because in her world there where also zombies, dreadful  things, these zombies. They where incredibly gruesome in an almost comical way. Now, this girl lived in one of the last safe places for our kind, Humans that is, as the zombies kind of just killed everyone else. It was a town called Gracia, and it was a hop, a skip, and threes days walk from the great city of Anza, which was completely overrun.
Now being a Magic user, every one in the town used the girl, forcing her to help them, and treating her badly when she did, and no one ever asked her name, she was simply called Girl.
then during a long famine, She looked at the world she was in, And got fed up with it.
"Thats it!" she cried "I'm going to Anza and I will bring back suplies with Magic! So take that universe!!"
So she gathered up her friends, which mostly consisted of a her Sister, a cat, and a boy who looked suspiciously like The Doctor, and they headed out, on their three days journey across the undead desert, into the Hordes of Anza.
They arrived, looking out into the sea of bodies,

"Can't you just say 'Magicy magic!" and make them go away?" asked the suspicious Doctor Boy, whose name was also suspiciously John.
"sorry, doesn't work like that" she explained.
"well how does it work?" Josn asked quite rudly.
She smiled, looked back at the Zombies, waved her hands around a bit and exclaimed "Like this!"
Then with all that build up, her magic made a zooping sound and spectacularly, nothing happened.
"was that suposed to happen?" asked her sister, whose name was Kay
The Girl laughed awkwardly. "no"
"well thats just fantastic, we've got a defective witch and a horde of zombies."
"I'm not a witch!" exclaimed The Girl "I need tuna!"
Both Kay and John looked at her sceptically, but not the cat, as he was busy licking himself.
"you need what?"
Kay and John looked at each other "why?"
She rolled her eyes. "because it fuels magic, every one knows that"
"nope, I'm pretty sure that was a little known fact about tuna, which are also extinct"
"lets get back to Gracia and we'll discuss it there"
so the group of merry men, and a cat, raced back to Gracia. what they found was foreboding.
"The gate is locked, and also someone put up as sign." said John. he took a quick look at the sign. "Foreboding" it read.
"well thats foreboding" Kay said. The other groaned.
"is there any way to get us back in there?" asked John toward The Girl.
"perhapes..." so The girl plucked a rather large bobby pin from her hair, then placed it carefully in the lock.  after quite a bit of jiggling, they heard a loud Click, and the lock fell off. The Girl pushed the door open.
Inside the gates to Gracia, was a Zombie. it was running around chasing the Mayor, while a crazy hippie was chasing the Zombie, exclaiming that he should spread love, not infectious diseases.
Everyone else found that quite sickening. The zombie moaned.
the Girl, with one of her last bits of Tuna magic, cast the Zombie into Where ever things go when she magically makes them disappear.
"so any one happen to know where one can find tuna?" asked The Girl.
The Mayor looked at her in disbelief , while the hippie mourned the loss of his undead pal.
"Are you mad Girl? Tuna have been extinct for generations!"
"yeah well, I need them"
"Magic them!" The mayor exclaimed.
The Girls face lit up. "Hye thats a good idea!' Then with her very last bit of magic she created a large pile of canned tuna.
at this John looked like his face would explode. "you could do that all this time, and you didn't? why not!?"
The Girl shrugged. "I didn't think about it"

And then I woke up. 


  1. WITCH DOCTOR!!!!!

    1. He told me what to do he told me...